The Day After.

Hey Fuzz.

I'm feeling MUCH better today. Haven't pulled yet. I've made it harder to gain access to pulling. I've also moved my playdoh back up near my bed. I hope this things will help. I'm still not going to "start over" (still saying that this will be my 118th day pf), mainly because I don't think I could handle such a defeat. Sorry, but this entry will be much like a random rant-like thing.

Why I Hate Trich:
1. It makes me feel like a freak
2. It doesn't let me be normal
3. I want beautiful hair, but am unable to have it
4. I hate feeling hopeless
5. I hate dissapointing my friends and family
6. I hate dissapointing myself
7. It makes me feel ugly
8. It's made my relationships with others suffer
9. It's made me self concious
10. I can't let my hair down in the wind
11. The wind is my enemy
12. It consumes my time, thoughts, and energy
13. It makes me feel like a freak
14. I'm tired of keeping secrets
15. I hate hurting myself as a result
16. I can't do everything
17. I'm probably more likely to get arthritis in my hands and fingers now
18. I can't play with my hair
19. It makes me feel ashamed and embarassed
20. I've been taunted before because of it
21. I'm sick of the questions
22. I'm tired of feeling alone
23. What's normal for most, is a struggle for me
24. It's kept me up
25. I can't help it
26. It makes me depressed

ETC


I'd write more, but it's late, and I can't afford to pull again. So, goodnight. Talk to you tomorrow.