Hey Fuzz.
Terrible news. and lots of it. I'll start with the absolute worst.
On February 8th, 2011, my grandad died. He was an amazing person. We were pretty close. We talked a lot, and hung out a lot. He truely was the most wonderful grandfather. I'm really really gonna mis him. A ton of people came to his funeral. He had done a lot for the church he went to, and a lot of his fellow church people came. He had his burial at Arlington National Cemetery. He had been in the Navy during WWII. The burial was really nice. They even let us keep the shellings. I misssed about 5 days of school in all.
I had only told 1-5 people (including some teachers). One of my friends, however, decided to tell everyone. When I came back, someone was like "so How was it? How was the funeral? Is that a shelling? Do you miss him?" etc. etc. I was like "please, leave me alone". No one wants to be bombarded with questions after such a thing.
Last friday, however, one of my friends, M, upset me. I'm known very well for being "the smart one". However, I hadn't read a chapter for homework (I mean honestly, the death is the biggest thing on mmy mind right now). So on friday, she asks "so did YOU read the chapter? for english?" I go "no. I was busy and tired last night. I had other things to do". So, she decided to say "OH! now you and ____ finally have something in common! You both don't work!" That stung. bad. I always try to do all my work, and I do my best on it all. My grades prove it. And, it really bothers me that she said that when 1. I'm doing better in school than her. 2. I had been doing a ton of makeup work on top of normal work. 3. I still have a better grade than her. I hurt. A lot. She pretty much said I was lazy, dumb, and don't work.
Yesterday, I did something really really bad. I pulled. A lot. On my lashes. I can't really hide it. I can try with eyeliner, but you can only do so much. It's twards the inner part of my top lashes, but it looks wierd. Any tips?
Other than that, life's been alright. About a month ago, my twin and some of our friends had a "food coma" Basically, it was a bunch of our guy friends and us, with a few of our girl buddies over. We played black ops, football, flashlight tag, hide-and-seek, and ate cookies, brownies "special brownies" (it's the cookie blended brownies), sloppy joes, etc. It was the best. During flashlight tag, most of us ended up stargazing in an open field. It was... amzaing. I can't wait until the next one!
that's all I feel like writing today. Pretty depressing, I know :( sorry. I let everyone down :(
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
R.I.P Skittles
Hey Fuzzy!
So much has happened recently! I am sooooo sorry I haven't written in awhile.
Right now, school is stressing me out. I decided to be stupid and take some hard classes (in otherwords, AP European History). Also, midterm exams are only a month or so away! AHH!
Last month, I had a sweet 16 (though it wasn't really close to my birthday... kinda procrastinated). It was fun. We had a dinosaur cake, played games such as GoldRush, etc. It was a "kids" themed party, so there was a pinata, party hats, pin the tail....etc.
Recently, it's been cold. Today, for example, had a windchill of -13 degrees F. I get to have the pleasure of running in this weather everyday for track....let's just say it gets really cold. Speaking of track...this past weekend, I got to go to a 2-day track meet. I personally thought I did horribly. Luckily, though, now I know what the track is like (since I've never done indoor), so next time should be better.
This past week, however, may perhaps have been one of the worst weeks ever. It all started last monday, december 6th. While driving home after track, we came across a pretty bad car accident. Police hadn't arrived yet, so I assume I got there a couple of minutes after it happened. It turns out a drunk driver had hit the car, killing the guy in it. To think that if I had left Food Lion just a few minutes earlier.... Then, to make the week worse, I've basically been stalked by one guy, and I found out that one of my best friend's ex's (also one of my twin's ex's) likes me....how wrong is that?! Then, of course, I did terribly in the track meet. Also, this past saturday, the 11th, I found my gerbil, Skittles, dead. I miss her soooo much! I got her in 7th grade (I'm currently in 10th). I remember choosing her because she was the most energetic. Through the past few years, she has seen me struggle with depression, struggle with body image, fight trich, the few times I tried cutting, the death of my uncle, etc. It's just been terrible.
I cannot wait until christmas. It's so soon!!! Oh yea, I still haven't pulled a single hair from my scalp. However, other places haven't been so great...not terrible, but still not great....
Well it's well past my bedtime on a school night, so goodnight!
So much has happened recently! I am sooooo sorry I haven't written in awhile.
Right now, school is stressing me out. I decided to be stupid and take some hard classes (in otherwords, AP European History). Also, midterm exams are only a month or so away! AHH!
Last month, I had a sweet 16 (though it wasn't really close to my birthday... kinda procrastinated). It was fun. We had a dinosaur cake, played games such as GoldRush, etc. It was a "kids" themed party, so there was a pinata, party hats, pin the tail....etc.
Recently, it's been cold. Today, for example, had a windchill of -13 degrees F. I get to have the pleasure of running in this weather everyday for track....let's just say it gets really cold. Speaking of track...this past weekend, I got to go to a 2-day track meet. I personally thought I did horribly. Luckily, though, now I know what the track is like (since I've never done indoor), so next time should be better.
This past week, however, may perhaps have been one of the worst weeks ever. It all started last monday, december 6th. While driving home after track, we came across a pretty bad car accident. Police hadn't arrived yet, so I assume I got there a couple of minutes after it happened. It turns out a drunk driver had hit the car, killing the guy in it. To think that if I had left Food Lion just a few minutes earlier.... Then, to make the week worse, I've basically been stalked by one guy, and I found out that one of my best friend's ex's (also one of my twin's ex's) likes me....how wrong is that?! Then, of course, I did terribly in the track meet. Also, this past saturday, the 11th, I found my gerbil, Skittles, dead. I miss her soooo much! I got her in 7th grade (I'm currently in 10th). I remember choosing her because she was the most energetic. Through the past few years, she has seen me struggle with depression, struggle with body image, fight trich, the few times I tried cutting, the death of my uncle, etc. It's just been terrible.
I cannot wait until christmas. It's so soon!!! Oh yea, I still haven't pulled a single hair from my scalp. However, other places haven't been so great...not terrible, but still not great....
Well it's well past my bedtime on a school night, so goodnight!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
My hair... IT'S SO SHORT!
Hey Fuzzy!
Okay, so school started this monday... and so far I'm already stressed out! AHHH!
Anyways... So recently I went to florida & visited my aunt. I had a blast :) The gulf of mexico was so nice!
ANYWAYS.
I GOT MY HAIR CUT!
It's shoulderlength with sideswept bangs and layers.... I'll post a photo on trichworld soon.
The stylist was very nice. She didn't make me feel uncomfortable, and even incorperated my regrowth into my haircut (I had shorter layers... they blend in now).
Well, I'm tired... waking up at 5:30am sucks.
So, Goodnight!
Okay, so school started this monday... and so far I'm already stressed out! AHHH!
Anyways... So recently I went to florida & visited my aunt. I had a blast :) The gulf of mexico was so nice!
ANYWAYS.
I GOT MY HAIR CUT!
It's shoulderlength with sideswept bangs and layers.... I'll post a photo on trichworld soon.
The stylist was very nice. She didn't make me feel uncomfortable, and even incorperated my regrowth into my haircut (I had shorter layers... they blend in now).
Well, I'm tired... waking up at 5:30am sucks.
So, Goodnight!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Hey Fuzzy!
Boy, do I have a LOT to update on! I've been gone for about 4 1/2 weeks... so I'll split this up into each week.
Week 1:
Okay, so I'm a camper at my favorite camp ever, which is in PA. The week is amazing. I do low ropes, tie dye, etc. I hiked up Peter's Mountain on a really humid day with some buddies of mine. Never hike up a steep, rocky mountain in humid, hot weather while dehydrated... you might get a headache. Also, never go on an adventure in flipflops like some of my friends did. A few of my friends and I also went to the lake in the middle of the night... it was so peaceful and relaxing, and the full moon was beautiful. I also learned a few volleyball tips (I suck at volleyball). Three of my friends (Peter, Carlos and Sharon) learned to never stargaze in the middle of an unbusy road... the guy who employes everyone working there might sneak up on you with his car. It was super fun :) To end the week was my first LaudryMat experience (at the end of the week I became volunteer staff). The staff goes each friday night. My washing machine (which I was sharing with a few other people) ended of spewing soapy water all of the floor, creating a slippy circle for us :)
Week 2:
I'm volunteering at the same camp with my sister. Both of us are in the main center, working in the kitchen. We were working with family campers. My sister was helping with the dishroom, while myself and 2 other people were working in the dining room vacumming, etc. Also during that week, I conquered my massive fear of heights for the day. One of my friends who is a Rec Director there told me how rock climbing helped him, so for the first time in a few years, I decided to do the rock wall -- the hardest one. It took me awhile, but I made it. There were so many times I just wanted to quit, but with the help of my friends, I made it, and it felt GREAT! Also, I got to learn all the inside jokes among the staff, and felt really welcomed. Towards the end of the week, my friend, Ben, my sister, another guy named Matt, and a lifegaurd, Jacob, created an airband. There were kids asking for their signatures :P That friday, we went back to the LaundryMat. Zil and my machine went crazy. It filled up with soapy water then stopped working, so we had to transfer the soaking clothing to a different laundry machine, which ended up spilling a little soapy water. :P Also that weekend was a staff event: The Amazing Race 2010. We got clues and raced (going in the speedlimits) to certain locations, etc. The people in the car I was in coulda died though. Our driver was going too fast on a counrty road at night, and didn't see a turn. I've never heard breaks scream so loud, nor have ever smelled tires burn so much. We missed the trees and woods by inches. If the driver hadn't reacted when she did, we would've rammed into the woods..... I was really shaky after that.
Week 3:
My sister and I were also volunteering this week. I was up at the other eating facility this week. I enjoyed the change -- I was working for people about my age. I got to see a friend, emily, I hadn't seen for about three years. So much has changed for both of us. This week, I got to join the airband as a backup guitarist/singer. Fun stuff :) Being in the kitchen, though, was tough. I worked all three meals, probably working about 11 hours a day. During breaks, I'd help out with Moms & Tots, which was also going on that week. I always got such an energy boost from those kids. Since it was the last week of camp, we all had an allnighter the last night. It was fun. I actually did okay at volleyball, gazed at the stars, watched some random movie I don't remember (from being so dead tired), etc. It was sooo fun. Saying goodbye sucked though :(
Week 4:
My family and I went to Bethany Beach. The weather was really nice except for thursday night, when it rained. I never knew how much more confidence I gained from being pf from my scalp starting jan. 2. My hair looked normal in the ocean -- no bald spots, no worries. I could let my hair down, rather than having to place it up a certain way. I actaully liked having my hair wet. Before the storm, the waves were perfect. They were huge, and fun. Yeah, there was a stronger current, but it wasn't too bad. Those were the best waves I've ever experienced. Friday, though, the waves were way to big and far out. The lifegaurds didn't let anyone really get into the water -- with good reason: the current was so strong, like a riptide. They were having to go out several times to bring kids in. The waves also broke early, and they weren't fun. The boardwalk was nice, though. I enjoyed getting icecream from the same shop I used to get it from when I was ittybitty. The last night we were there, last friday, we went to ocean city. We went on a few rides and saw a sandsculpture. Needless to say, the beach was fun :)
Week 5 (so far):
So far, this week I've been in D.C. My friend, my sister, myself, and my mom went to the fair near there. It was soo much fun! I got to hold a baby goat, and we saw cows, bunnies, goats, mini horses, normal horses, pigs, etc. One of my other favorite parts of the day was watching the pig races. They raced piglets, ducks, goats, rookie piglets, and potbelly pigs. It was adorable ^_^ At night, we went on a few rides. I felt very accomplished -- I went on the two tallest rides there (the really high swing one, and the one that takes you up and drops you). I'm super scared of heights, but sometimes a little peer pressure can be good! I had fun :) We also tried fried oreos, which I'm not a huge fan of... I don't like the chocolate cookie taste. To end the night, my friend, my sister and I all raced down one of the little kid slides... and I won... twice... take that twin sister! :P
Anyways, these past few weeks have been some of the best. I haven't gotten my haircut yet, but I'm hoping to this weekend. Sadly, school starts the 30th.... so soon! AHHHH!
Well, it's getting late, so goodnight and talk to you soon (hopefully!)
Boy, do I have a LOT to update on! I've been gone for about 4 1/2 weeks... so I'll split this up into each week.
Week 1:
Okay, so I'm a camper at my favorite camp ever, which is in PA. The week is amazing. I do low ropes, tie dye, etc. I hiked up Peter's Mountain on a really humid day with some buddies of mine. Never hike up a steep, rocky mountain in humid, hot weather while dehydrated... you might get a headache. Also, never go on an adventure in flipflops like some of my friends did. A few of my friends and I also went to the lake in the middle of the night... it was so peaceful and relaxing, and the full moon was beautiful. I also learned a few volleyball tips (I suck at volleyball). Three of my friends (Peter, Carlos and Sharon) learned to never stargaze in the middle of an unbusy road... the guy who employes everyone working there might sneak up on you with his car. It was super fun :) To end the week was my first LaudryMat experience (at the end of the week I became volunteer staff). The staff goes each friday night. My washing machine (which I was sharing with a few other people) ended of spewing soapy water all of the floor, creating a slippy circle for us :)
Week 2:
I'm volunteering at the same camp with my sister. Both of us are in the main center, working in the kitchen. We were working with family campers. My sister was helping with the dishroom, while myself and 2 other people were working in the dining room vacumming, etc. Also during that week, I conquered my massive fear of heights for the day. One of my friends who is a Rec Director there told me how rock climbing helped him, so for the first time in a few years, I decided to do the rock wall -- the hardest one. It took me awhile, but I made it. There were so many times I just wanted to quit, but with the help of my friends, I made it, and it felt GREAT! Also, I got to learn all the inside jokes among the staff, and felt really welcomed. Towards the end of the week, my friend, Ben, my sister, another guy named Matt, and a lifegaurd, Jacob, created an airband. There were kids asking for their signatures :P That friday, we went back to the LaundryMat. Zil and my machine went crazy. It filled up with soapy water then stopped working, so we had to transfer the soaking clothing to a different laundry machine, which ended up spilling a little soapy water. :P Also that weekend was a staff event: The Amazing Race 2010. We got clues and raced (going in the speedlimits) to certain locations, etc. The people in the car I was in coulda died though. Our driver was going too fast on a counrty road at night, and didn't see a turn. I've never heard breaks scream so loud, nor have ever smelled tires burn so much. We missed the trees and woods by inches. If the driver hadn't reacted when she did, we would've rammed into the woods..... I was really shaky after that.
Week 3:
My sister and I were also volunteering this week. I was up at the other eating facility this week. I enjoyed the change -- I was working for people about my age. I got to see a friend, emily, I hadn't seen for about three years. So much has changed for both of us. This week, I got to join the airband as a backup guitarist/singer. Fun stuff :) Being in the kitchen, though, was tough. I worked all three meals, probably working about 11 hours a day. During breaks, I'd help out with Moms & Tots, which was also going on that week. I always got such an energy boost from those kids. Since it was the last week of camp, we all had an allnighter the last night. It was fun. I actually did okay at volleyball, gazed at the stars, watched some random movie I don't remember (from being so dead tired), etc. It was sooo fun. Saying goodbye sucked though :(
Week 4:
My family and I went to Bethany Beach. The weather was really nice except for thursday night, when it rained. I never knew how much more confidence I gained from being pf from my scalp starting jan. 2. My hair looked normal in the ocean -- no bald spots, no worries. I could let my hair down, rather than having to place it up a certain way. I actaully liked having my hair wet. Before the storm, the waves were perfect. They were huge, and fun. Yeah, there was a stronger current, but it wasn't too bad. Those were the best waves I've ever experienced. Friday, though, the waves were way to big and far out. The lifegaurds didn't let anyone really get into the water -- with good reason: the current was so strong, like a riptide. They were having to go out several times to bring kids in. The waves also broke early, and they weren't fun. The boardwalk was nice, though. I enjoyed getting icecream from the same shop I used to get it from when I was ittybitty. The last night we were there, last friday, we went to ocean city. We went on a few rides and saw a sandsculpture. Needless to say, the beach was fun :)
Week 5 (so far):
So far, this week I've been in D.C. My friend, my sister, myself, and my mom went to the fair near there. It was soo much fun! I got to hold a baby goat, and we saw cows, bunnies, goats, mini horses, normal horses, pigs, etc. One of my other favorite parts of the day was watching the pig races. They raced piglets, ducks, goats, rookie piglets, and potbelly pigs. It was adorable ^_^ At night, we went on a few rides. I felt very accomplished -- I went on the two tallest rides there (the really high swing one, and the one that takes you up and drops you). I'm super scared of heights, but sometimes a little peer pressure can be good! I had fun :) We also tried fried oreos, which I'm not a huge fan of... I don't like the chocolate cookie taste. To end the night, my friend, my sister and I all raced down one of the little kid slides... and I won... twice... take that twin sister! :P
Anyways, these past few weeks have been some of the best. I haven't gotten my haircut yet, but I'm hoping to this weekend. Sadly, school starts the 30th.... so soon! AHHHH!
Well, it's getting late, so goodnight and talk to you soon (hopefully!)
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Failing's My "Norm"
Fuzz:
Sorry about not writing back the next day... I was busy.
Anyways, I wasn't pullfree on monday, tuesday or today... :(
You see, today, I had to wake up early so that I could join my friend in her cross country training program. I used to be a distance runner, and used to destroy her at it. But now, having not run over a mile in over a year, feel like a complete and total idiot. I could only run 3 miles, and was the very last of the pack. One of my friends even ran over 14 miles in about an hour and a half. The friend I used to run much better than ran at least 5... I just feel so stupid for even going... as well as sad knowing how much worse I got. Last year, 3 miles seemed like nothing...
So, yea. I'm really dissapointed in myself, and even more frustrated that I feel like I let my parents down (they paid $14 for my twin and I to run the whole summer). I feel like such a failure....
Well, I'm out for now.
Sorry about not writing back the next day... I was busy.
Anyways, I wasn't pullfree on monday, tuesday or today... :(
You see, today, I had to wake up early so that I could join my friend in her cross country training program. I used to be a distance runner, and used to destroy her at it. But now, having not run over a mile in over a year, feel like a complete and total idiot. I could only run 3 miles, and was the very last of the pack. One of my friends even ran over 14 miles in about an hour and a half. The friend I used to run much better than ran at least 5... I just feel so stupid for even going... as well as sad knowing how much worse I got. Last year, 3 miles seemed like nothing...
So, yea. I'm really dissapointed in myself, and even more frustrated that I feel like I let my parents down (they paid $14 for my twin and I to run the whole summer). I feel like such a failure....
Well, I'm out for now.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Nothin Better than Sippin a RootBeer Float on America's Birthday(:
Hey Fuzz!
So, I can't say I was pf today. You see, I have an excuse for it. Okay, so I'm an EXTREMELY light sleeper, and my parents... well, they snore.... LOUD. So I had to share a room with them, and I couldn't get to sleep. I got to sleep at 4am. Yea, I pulled a little due to the frustration of not being able to sleep.
Anyways, yesterday, riding the 4wheeler was fun (I ride them at my "grandma's farm" [really my great uncle's farm]). And the reunion today was also fun. Lots of food, Lots of joy(:
BUT that's not what I wanted to talk about....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!
Like the title of this entry says: "Nothin better than sippin on a rootbeer float on America's bday".
I love fireworks, which is one of the biggest reasons I LOVE the 4th of july. I absolutely love how the different colors, shapes, sparkles, etc all play out (:
I also love being able to hangout with friends on this day. Needless to say, I had a blast.
Sorry I haven't really written much. It's just that I'm being fueled on no sleep...
SO, I'll talk more about it tomorrow. Night fuzzy! :D
So, I can't say I was pf today. You see, I have an excuse for it. Okay, so I'm an EXTREMELY light sleeper, and my parents... well, they snore.... LOUD. So I had to share a room with them, and I couldn't get to sleep. I got to sleep at 4am. Yea, I pulled a little due to the frustration of not being able to sleep.
Anyways, yesterday, riding the 4wheeler was fun (I ride them at my "grandma's farm" [really my great uncle's farm]). And the reunion today was also fun. Lots of food, Lots of joy(:
BUT that's not what I wanted to talk about....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!
Like the title of this entry says: "Nothin better than sippin on a rootbeer float on America's bday".
I love fireworks, which is one of the biggest reasons I LOVE the 4th of july. I absolutely love how the different colors, shapes, sparkles, etc all play out (:
I also love being able to hangout with friends on this day. Needless to say, I had a blast.
Sorry I haven't really written much. It's just that I'm being fueled on no sleep...
SO, I'll talk more about it tomorrow. Night fuzzy! :D
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Just an Update(:
Hey Fuzzy!
Okay, so I'm about to leave for a family reunion (outta state) soon, so I'll make this quick.
Bad News:
Okay, so I did pull some Monday (i think it was monday...). None of my scalp hair, but I am still EXTREMELY dissapointed in myself. I kept asking myself the "what if?" questions: "what if I had gotten to bed sooner?" "what if I decided not to listen to my ipod?" "what if I hadn't given in to temptation?". That would mean that as of today, I am.... 167 days pf! (if you include today, of course).
Secondly, I decided that I will NOT be cutting my hair UNTIL a few days or so before school starts. This will allow my hair to grow a little more for my donation, as well as suprise my friends more :)
Good News:
I will be less likely to pull this weekend at my family reunion because I will constantly be around people, as well as having a blast:)
Also, I found out my final grades for the school year. This year, I have........(drumroll)...... a 4.0 gpa. So, I got A's in all my classes this freshman year in highschool(:
Well, my parent's are calling me (to leave for the reunion), so gotta go fuzz!
P.S. sorry I didn't write sooner... never did go to the library again that visit. thanks for being patient!
Okay, so I'm about to leave for a family reunion (outta state) soon, so I'll make this quick.
Bad News:
Okay, so I did pull some Monday (i think it was monday...). None of my scalp hair, but I am still EXTREMELY dissapointed in myself. I kept asking myself the "what if?" questions: "what if I had gotten to bed sooner?" "what if I decided not to listen to my ipod?" "what if I hadn't given in to temptation?". That would mean that as of today, I am.... 167 days pf! (if you include today, of course).
Secondly, I decided that I will NOT be cutting my hair UNTIL a few days or so before school starts. This will allow my hair to grow a little more for my donation, as well as suprise my friends more :)
Good News:
I will be less likely to pull this weekend at my family reunion because I will constantly be around people, as well as having a blast:)
Also, I found out my final grades for the school year. This year, I have........(drumroll)...... a 4.0 gpa. So, I got A's in all my classes this freshman year in highschool(:
Well, my parent's are calling me (to leave for the reunion), so gotta go fuzz!
P.S. sorry I didn't write sooner... never did go to the library again that visit. thanks for being patient!
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